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Why is it that direct-messaging a stranger and asking for their Snapchat username is now seen as an effective and acceptable way to flirt with somebody? 

Forbid that a teenage girl in 2018 actually prefers good-manners, romance and face-to-face interaction over 'sliding into DMs'. Call me old-fashioned as much as you want but there is no way that I'll even attempt to start a relationship with anybody online.

It's no news that my generation is one that is growing up on social media platforms (it's also no news that we are probably the last people who did not own an iPad at age 4 - the best of both worlds?). What's so wrong with being behind the times if that means that I won't reply to the same generic Joey-esque "how you doin'?" message notification, that pops up on my phone in the very early hours of the morning. A message that has so obviously been sent around to just about every other 14-16 year old girl in the local area that the sender can find on Instagram.

Attempting to start a relationship used to be about making someone feel 'special' and making them feel as if you've seen the 'real' them. Lately, I've had a couple of interactions with boys online who have showered me with heart-eyed emojis, 'x's and other meaningless tat and honestly, I don't know how anybody can expect an emotional response from any of that- even if the compliments they are typing are actually nice. Asking for my Snapchat, presumably so they can send me inappropriate snaps, will in not render me speechless with desire nor will it strike me dumbfound with love.

However, so many people are in long lasting relationships (well as long as they can be for mere 15 year olds), which occasionally makes me wonder if us hopeless romantics have had their day and are destined to die alone because we struggle to adapt to this lack of emotion that we are all now expected to find alluring. I must clarify that being a distant Mr Rochester is very different from being lazy teenager who actually only thinks that you're not repulsive, so they might as well pop-up. Of course, just to make sure that they're not putting all of their eggs into one basket.

Fifteen year-olds are far too young for Tinder and other dating apps so I'm by no means pointing the finger of blame. I'm just so confused as to when things shifted and I was supposed to find "what's you snapchat? x" an irresistible opening line...

Social media gives us all the ability to hide behind an online persona. We become outgoing and we do things we wouldn't dream of doing offline: that is when people lose all the things that make them genuine. A lack of sincerity and authenticity means that nothing about their personality and qualities comes across. So no thanks, to new age flirting.

New Age Flirting



Why is it that direct-messaging a stranger and asking for their Snapchat username is now seen as an effective and acceptable way to flirt with somebody? 

Forbid that a teenage girl in 2018 actually prefers good-manners, romance and face-to-face interaction over 'sliding into DMs'. Call me old-fashioned as much as you want but there is no way that I'll even attempt to start a relationship with anybody online.

It's no news that my generation is one that is growing up on social media platforms (it's also no news that we are probably the last people who did not own an iPad at age 4 - the best of both worlds?). What's so wrong with being behind the times if that means that I won't reply to the same generic Joey-esque "how you doin'?" message notification, that pops up on my phone in the very early hours of the morning. A message that has so obviously been sent around to just about every other 14-16 year old girl in the local area that the sender can find on Instagram.

Attempting to start a relationship used to be about making someone feel 'special' and making them feel as if you've seen the 'real' them. Lately, I've had a couple of interactions with boys online who have showered me with heart-eyed emojis, 'x's and other meaningless tat and honestly, I don't know how anybody can expect an emotional response from any of that- even if the compliments they are typing are actually nice. Asking for my Snapchat, presumably so they can send me inappropriate snaps, will in not render me speechless with desire nor will it strike me dumbfound with love.

However, so many people are in long lasting relationships (well as long as they can be for mere 15 year olds), which occasionally makes me wonder if us hopeless romantics have had their day and are destined to die alone because we struggle to adapt to this lack of emotion that we are all now expected to find alluring. I must clarify that being a distant Mr Rochester is very different from being lazy teenager who actually only thinks that you're not repulsive, so they might as well pop-up. Of course, just to make sure that they're not putting all of their eggs into one basket.

Fifteen year-olds are far too young for Tinder and other dating apps so I'm by no means pointing the finger of blame. I'm just so confused as to when things shifted and I was supposed to find "what's you snapchat? x" an irresistible opening line...

Social media gives us all the ability to hide behind an online persona. We become outgoing and we do things we wouldn't dream of doing offline: that is when people lose all the things that make them genuine. A lack of sincerity and authenticity means that nothing about their personality and qualities comes across. So no thanks, to new age flirting.


This year, my aim is to finish 20 books. That may not sound like a lot to some but with a busy and stressful GCSE year ahead of me, I want to keep it realistic. I cherish the joy that reading brings but like many others, I often neglect to make time for it. I'm no book-blogger or bookstagrammer and many of them have goals of reading 50-100 books. This years focus, for me, is to read powerful, influential and challenging books rather than reading a large quantity of books that I won't remember or help me grow as a person. I've had a slow start with but I'm sure I'll catch up after my exams.

Current read: Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. 
I'm not a 30-minutes-a-day reader, I'd much rather devote a day to devouring a good book. You know a book is good when it is found glued to my hand. Also, I can't comprehend how people read in busy, public places!- I could never read on a bus (I get travel-sick anyway).

By setting a goal on a number of books I'm giving myself the best motivation I can come up with. It's not motivation to read a book, it's motivation to make more time for reading and all of the other things that I enjoy. 

Books I want to read next:

  • The Girl on the Train
  • The Kite Runner
  • Beloved
  • Thérèse Raquin
  • L'Étranger (in french)
  • The Little Prince
  • Around the world in 80 days (in french)

Lately, I've also started following a number of bookstagram accounts (book-instagrams) for some inspiration- I only really follow a few: some big, some smaller. Here's 5 that I love and are somewhere to start if you're an absolute newbie like me:

@obviousstate
@bookbento

@wordsr_worlds

@empire.of.a.lost.soul

Please leave a comment of any books that you've enjoyed and would recommend :)

2018 Reading Goal


This year, my aim is to finish 20 books. That may not sound like a lot to some but with a busy and stressful GCSE year ahead of me, I want to keep it realistic. I cherish the joy that reading brings but like many others, I often neglect to make time for it. I'm no book-blogger or bookstagrammer and many of them have goals of reading 50-100 books. This years focus, for me, is to read powerful, influential and challenging books rather than reading a large quantity of books that I won't remember or help me grow as a person. I've had a slow start with but I'm sure I'll catch up after my exams.

Current read: Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. 
I'm not a 30-minutes-a-day reader, I'd much rather devote a day to devouring a good book. You know a book is good when it is found glued to my hand. Also, I can't comprehend how people read in busy, public places!- I could never read on a bus (I get travel-sick anyway).

By setting a goal on a number of books I'm giving myself the best motivation I can come up with. It's not motivation to read a book, it's motivation to make more time for reading and all of the other things that I enjoy. 

Books I want to read next:

  • The Girl on the Train
  • The Kite Runner
  • Beloved
  • Thérèse Raquin
  • L'Étranger (in french)
  • The Little Prince
  • Around the world in 80 days (in french)

Lately, I've also started following a number of bookstagram accounts (book-instagrams) for some inspiration- I only really follow a few: some big, some smaller. Here's 5 that I love and are somewhere to start if you're an absolute newbie like me:

@obviousstate
@bookbento

@wordsr_worlds

@empire.of.a.lost.soul

Please leave a comment of any books that you've enjoyed and would recommend :)

Enveloped in thick duvets, furry throws and woollen blankets to the point where it's impossible to tell where my pyjamas start and socks end. I've consumed approximately 27 digestive biscuits and heaven knows how many cups of tea whilst watching 'The Holiday'. Perhaps one of the most uneventful events of 2018 so far but definitely my favourite.

I wouldn't have thought that whirls of powdery snow could make such a difference to my mood which seems to have stayed unchanged for weeks. Perhaps a (somewhat rare) change of routine is what I need. A day where nothing else matter but hot drinks and snowmen. A perfect excuse for turtlenecks, scarves, eating too much and not doing anything that productive- without guilt.

I think that it's not actually the frozen water at all- it's the rarity of simple childish pleasures amongst the monotonous days that some of us have grown accustomed to. It crossed my mind to wish for at least one snow day a week, but then I remembered that with each one, a little bit of magic would be lost.

I better go, the kettle has finished boiling...

Snow Day


Enveloped in thick duvets, furry throws and woollen blankets to the point where it's impossible to tell where my pyjamas start and socks end. I've consumed approximately 27 digestive biscuits and heaven knows how many cups of tea whilst watching 'The Holiday'. Perhaps one of the most uneventful events of 2018 so far but definitely my favourite.

I wouldn't have thought that whirls of powdery snow could make such a difference to my mood which seems to have stayed unchanged for weeks. Perhaps a (somewhat rare) change of routine is what I need. A day where nothing else matter but hot drinks and snowmen. A perfect excuse for turtlenecks, scarves, eating too much and not doing anything that productive- without guilt.

I think that it's not actually the frozen water at all- it's the rarity of simple childish pleasures amongst the monotonous days that some of us have grown accustomed to. It crossed my mind to wish for at least one snow day a week, but then I remembered that with each one, a little bit of magic would be lost.

I better go, the kettle has finished boiling...

As far as I am concerned, I should be doing everything I can to love my teenage self so that when I am older I am not so bitter about my teenage years, right? Easier said than done - a line I use with my mother all the time. Like anyone, I have my insecurities but that doesn't mean that I cannot try to love myself. Arguably, some people see these years as the hardest of your life and at only 15 years old I don't know what's coming ahead of me, but what I do know is: I'm doing things in my time, by my rules and having my own priorities.

I am quite a deep thinker so no wonder I ponder on my life and where it is heading. Lately I've worked through some stuff - and you know what... I feel great now. I always try to find ways to rethink my life's direction so that I can grow up as happy as can be and make peace with my teenage self. This is what I came up with :

The two F words-Failure and Forgiveness 

Failure
If I may quote Winston Churchill, "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"-Failing is exhausting. I'm a self-proclaimed perfectionist but unfortunately, unless we fail, we learn nothing! It took me a long time to understand that life goes on. Of course success really matters and worth it but I failed because I tried and I will have to get up and try again.

Forgiveness
As teenagers we like holding on to past bitterness and we just cannot let go. I have been working tremendously hard on my ability to forgive people who do me wrong so that I can move on. Sometimes the enormity the bruise from getting hurt impacted on you so much that you cannot let go. I have been hurt so many times by so called 'friends' and at the moment I find myself forgiving them, after which I feel so much better and start enjoying myself.

Help others understand you

With time, I've got to know myself better (as we all do), I've changed a lot, I see things differently, I dress differently and do things that maybe certain 'friends' regard as boring. Not all my peers understand me, for example I am quite vocal and will express myself and defend what I believe in and couldn't really describe myself as very introverted however I have no desire to go to social events outside of school. I'm just not interested but I find some people really struggle to understand that. I do lack self confidence because of that but I have now realised that my friends will be much more understanding if I let them in. In the past people have labelled me 'boring' because I don't go out much and socialise or don't socialise in the same way as them or go partying. What I should make my friends understand is I do treasure my time alone. I sometimes go on shopping trips alone and spending time with myself  has been a self discovery journey. The best thing you can do is to let your friends know what you are all about. You should not feel guilty about who you are or be down on yourself because others don't get you.

Figure out what makes you happy

Like I said, making peace with yourself is also about finding out what really, truly make you happy. Do things you love regardless of what others think about you. Wear what makes you happy and most importantly live in a way that you can find joy in every moment because you are happy with yourself and the people surrounding you. If you don't enjoy doing something, just stop doing it.

Record your happy moments and then look back at it: I bought a dotted notebook at that beginning of the year in which I've written anything and everything that I want to remember on the days that feel low to remind myself that we live for those moments of joy, no matter how small they may be...

photos by Ella O'Neill

How to make peace with your teenage self


As far as I am concerned, I should be doing everything I can to love my teenage self so that when I am older I am not so bitter about my teenage years, right? Easier said than done - a line I use with my mother all the time. Like anyone, I have my insecurities but that doesn't mean that I cannot try to love myself. Arguably, some people see these years as the hardest of your life and at only 15 years old I don't know what's coming ahead of me, but what I do know is: I'm doing things in my time, by my rules and having my own priorities.

I am quite a deep thinker so no wonder I ponder on my life and where it is heading. Lately I've worked through some stuff - and you know what... I feel great now. I always try to find ways to rethink my life's direction so that I can grow up as happy as can be and make peace with my teenage self. This is what I came up with :

The two F words-Failure and Forgiveness 

Failure
If I may quote Winston Churchill, "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"-Failing is exhausting. I'm a self-proclaimed perfectionist but unfortunately, unless we fail, we learn nothing! It took me a long time to understand that life goes on. Of course success really matters and worth it but I failed because I tried and I will have to get up and try again.

Forgiveness
As teenagers we like holding on to past bitterness and we just cannot let go. I have been working tremendously hard on my ability to forgive people who do me wrong so that I can move on. Sometimes the enormity the bruise from getting hurt impacted on you so much that you cannot let go. I have been hurt so many times by so called 'friends' and at the moment I find myself forgiving them, after which I feel so much better and start enjoying myself.

Help others understand you

With time, I've got to know myself better (as we all do), I've changed a lot, I see things differently, I dress differently and do things that maybe certain 'friends' regard as boring. Not all my peers understand me, for example I am quite vocal and will express myself and defend what I believe in and couldn't really describe myself as very introverted however I have no desire to go to social events outside of school. I'm just not interested but I find some people really struggle to understand that. I do lack self confidence because of that but I have now realised that my friends will be much more understanding if I let them in. In the past people have labelled me 'boring' because I don't go out much and socialise or don't socialise in the same way as them or go partying. What I should make my friends understand is I do treasure my time alone. I sometimes go on shopping trips alone and spending time with myself  has been a self discovery journey. The best thing you can do is to let your friends know what you are all about. You should not feel guilty about who you are or be down on yourself because others don't get you.

Figure out what makes you happy

Like I said, making peace with yourself is also about finding out what really, truly make you happy. Do things you love regardless of what others think about you. Wear what makes you happy and most importantly live in a way that you can find joy in every moment because you are happy with yourself and the people surrounding you. If you don't enjoy doing something, just stop doing it.

Record your happy moments and then look back at it: I bought a dotted notebook at that beginning of the year in which I've written anything and everything that I want to remember on the days that feel low to remind myself that we live for those moments of joy, no matter how small they may be...

photos by Ella O'Neill

In an attempt for self-love and improvement, I've decided to embark on a style journey in 2018. I'm equipped with my Pinterest boards, books and blog posts, and I'm as ready as I'll ever be...

My love for fashion kind of diminished and I can only assume it's due to my insecurities ad new found ability to compare myself to just about everyone else on this planet. My once favourite tasks of shopping and picking outfits became my least favourites. I grew out of not only my clothes, but also my style, so I'm left with not a lot of money to fix an expensive problem that I've been ignoring.

Curating my closet
Some people may not see it as such a 'problem' but for me, it feels like I've lost a huge part of myself- the part that made me want to start a blog in the first place. I want to find that side of me again. My focus has been on the things that make me unhappy rather than things that I enjoy which is a huge shame. In order to rectify the situation, I've turned to Anuschka Rees and The Curated Closet. 
If you have yet to read this book, I strongly suggest it to fashion enthusiasts or those of you who feel like your wardrobes are lacking inspiration or doesn't reflect your personality. Anuschka covers many aspects of personal style and gives you guidance along your journey so articulately.


Capsule Wardrobe
In order to jumpstart my new wardrobe, I'm going to initially create a capsule wardrobe using the pieces in my wardrobe that bring me joy. I'm going to take a minimalistic approach to dressing. Minimalism, I find, is slightly misunderstood: minimalism is not just "stripped-down aesthetics", it can be removing all of the non-essential and focusing in on what you love. The term "capsule wardrobe" is thrown around a lot so if you want a more in depth explanation of the benefits and what I'm doing, leave me a comment down below.


Keeping things affordable
I don't know about you but, as 15 year old, mid-GCSE, without a job, I'm broke about 80% of the time so I'm not going to be buying Gucci loafers (as much as I might want them). For me, a wardrobe full of a few, great quality pieces (amongst some cheaper basics) is more affordable than a wardrobe full a cheap pieces that you'll have to replace so often. I prefer to y clothes when I want to go shopping rather than when I need to. I recently spent £70 on a corduroy jacket that  loved to pieces and I've worn it almost everyday since so I'm ecstatic about that investment. Save and buy good quality clothes I adore, instead of buying lots of cheap clothes that I don't love, merely like.

My blog is undoubtedly the best way to document and share my journey so I've decided to do just that. Feel free to follow me on Pinterest, here are some of the moodboards I've bee working on.








Finding your own style


In an attempt for self-love and improvement, I've decided to embark on a style journey in 2018. I'm equipped with my Pinterest boards, books and blog posts, and I'm as ready as I'll ever be...

My love for fashion kind of diminished and I can only assume it's due to my insecurities ad new found ability to compare myself to just about everyone else on this planet. My once favourite tasks of shopping and picking outfits became my least favourites. I grew out of not only my clothes, but also my style, so I'm left with not a lot of money to fix an expensive problem that I've been ignoring.

Curating my closet
Some people may not see it as such a 'problem' but for me, it feels like I've lost a huge part of myself- the part that made me want to start a blog in the first place. I want to find that side of me again. My focus has been on the things that make me unhappy rather than things that I enjoy which is a huge shame. In order to rectify the situation, I've turned to Anuschka Rees and The Curated Closet. 
If you have yet to read this book, I strongly suggest it to fashion enthusiasts or those of you who feel like your wardrobes are lacking inspiration or doesn't reflect your personality. Anuschka covers many aspects of personal style and gives you guidance along your journey so articulately.


Capsule Wardrobe
In order to jumpstart my new wardrobe, I'm going to initially create a capsule wardrobe using the pieces in my wardrobe that bring me joy. I'm going to take a minimalistic approach to dressing. Minimalism, I find, is slightly misunderstood: minimalism is not just "stripped-down aesthetics", it can be removing all of the non-essential and focusing in on what you love. The term "capsule wardrobe" is thrown around a lot so if you want a more in depth explanation of the benefits and what I'm doing, leave me a comment down below.


Keeping things affordable
I don't know about you but, as 15 year old, mid-GCSE, without a job, I'm broke about 80% of the time so I'm not going to be buying Gucci loafers (as much as I might want them). For me, a wardrobe full of a few, great quality pieces (amongst some cheaper basics) is more affordable than a wardrobe full a cheap pieces that you'll have to replace so often. I prefer to y clothes when I want to go shopping rather than when I need to. I recently spent £70 on a corduroy jacket that  loved to pieces and I've worn it almost everyday since so I'm ecstatic about that investment. Save and buy good quality clothes I adore, instead of buying lots of cheap clothes that I don't love, merely like.

My blog is undoubtedly the best way to document and share my journey so I've decided to do just that. Feel free to follow me on Pinterest, here are some of the moodboards I've bee working on.









Recently, since I turned 15, I've been feeling as if I'm doing the whole teenage thing wrong... I decided that with secondary school I was just going to get my head down get the grades I need and stay out of trouble- pretty much just survive it. But as myself and my peers have grown older I've found myself so utterly confused because either they're all going out and  doing the whole social life/party thing or just things I hadn't even thought about doing previously. It sometimes feels like everyone's making drastic changes to their lives for the better like such as going to the gym, eating 'clean' , getting in a relationship , winning competitions or actively working on getting a career, and I know I've got my own things that I do but there's that point you reach where you're just there questioning yourself like: "Am I even doing this right?" just because everyone else is doing it differently.

I've really doubted my 'tactics' recently because I've been comparing myself to other people. And it's unfortunately something most of us do and it ends up twisting our perception of ourselves and our worth. We're all trying to get something different out of life in different circumstances so why are we comparing ourselves to one another? For validation from others?

Do you feel like when you're looking at social media,  or just by word of mouth, everyone else seems like they're having a better time- having more fun or achieving more? Maybe if you did what they were doing or had their approach to things your life would be a little bit better? Newsflash- that's not the case. I said to a friend recently: "I'm a terrible excuse for a girl". What does that even mean? What does a girl do? Anything she damn well pleases is the correct answer,  so if you think for one second that what you think is fun is wrong or what you think is important isn't because not everyone else thinks the same,  don't. There's no point wasting your time on those self-deprecating thoughts. You're doing fine. More than fine, great actually. And that's not to say goals are bad at all because in my opinion they're vital to progression and development. What I'm trying to put across is that there is no wrong way to be a teenager, or just a person in general.

Jade

photos by Ella O'Neill

Am I doing this all wrong?


Recently, since I turned 15, I've been feeling as if I'm doing the whole teenage thing wrong... I decided that with secondary school I was just going to get my head down get the grades I need and stay out of trouble- pretty much just survive it. But as myself and my peers have grown older I've found myself so utterly confused because either they're all going out and  doing the whole social life/party thing or just things I hadn't even thought about doing previously. It sometimes feels like everyone's making drastic changes to their lives for the better like such as going to the gym, eating 'clean' , getting in a relationship , winning competitions or actively working on getting a career, and I know I've got my own things that I do but there's that point you reach where you're just there questioning yourself like: "Am I even doing this right?" just because everyone else is doing it differently.

I've really doubted my 'tactics' recently because I've been comparing myself to other people. And it's unfortunately something most of us do and it ends up twisting our perception of ourselves and our worth. We're all trying to get something different out of life in different circumstances so why are we comparing ourselves to one another? For validation from others?

Do you feel like when you're looking at social media,  or just by word of mouth, everyone else seems like they're having a better time- having more fun or achieving more? Maybe if you did what they were doing or had their approach to things your life would be a little bit better? Newsflash- that's not the case. I said to a friend recently: "I'm a terrible excuse for a girl". What does that even mean? What does a girl do? Anything she damn well pleases is the correct answer,  so if you think for one second that what you think is fun is wrong or what you think is important isn't because not everyone else thinks the same,  don't. There's no point wasting your time on those self-deprecating thoughts. You're doing fine. More than fine, great actually. And that's not to say goals are bad at all because in my opinion they're vital to progression and development. What I'm trying to put across is that there is no wrong way to be a teenager, or just a person in general.

Jade

photos by Ella O'Neill


I am quite late with my new year greetings this year, the blog took a back seat for a while whilst I dealt with school, exams, dance shows and thinking about the future. The blog is back online now with a new layout, a minimal and less cluttered look. I hope you will enjoy the change.

For the past few months I've been redecorating my room ( a slow process but getting there!) because I felt really unhappy in that space and I spend a huge amount of time there. I have grown up a lot since we moved to our house almost 5 years ago. In the huge amount of reflection time I've had recently, I decided I want to surround myself with art and things that make me feel  really happy .

My blog is another space that didn't really feel like me anymore and recently, I've been reflecting a lot on it. I started Frills & Lyrics at age 12 and BLIMEY have I changed since then! I've just turned fifteen and I've changed immensely: but my blog hasn't change much. I think at 12 I wanted to be a blogger kind of for the sake of being 'a blogger' (that and I've always had a lot to say). I still have so much to say and I'm going to say it because my audience is my age group and at this point, all I want is honesty and advice and I feel like other people my age do to. So, on my journey of trying to get myself together I'm going to share with you what I find out and hopefully it'll help. My thoughts about life, growing up and my future have consumed a lot of my focus lately so I might as well talk about them rather than bottle it. 

So here's to Frills & Lyrics 2.0, give it a year and we'll probably be looking at 3.0! But that's okay because I'm going change. I'm going to try to welcome that change because change is good.

Jade xxx

Reinventing My Space


I am quite late with my new year greetings this year, the blog took a back seat for a while whilst I dealt with school, exams, dance shows and thinking about the future. The blog is back online now with a new layout, a minimal and less cluttered look. I hope you will enjoy the change.

For the past few months I've been redecorating my room ( a slow process but getting there!) because I felt really unhappy in that space and I spend a huge amount of time there. I have grown up a lot since we moved to our house almost 5 years ago. In the huge amount of reflection time I've had recently, I decided I want to surround myself with art and things that make me feel  really happy .

My blog is another space that didn't really feel like me anymore and recently, I've been reflecting a lot on it. I started Frills & Lyrics at age 12 and BLIMEY have I changed since then! I've just turned fifteen and I've changed immensely: but my blog hasn't change much. I think at 12 I wanted to be a blogger kind of for the sake of being 'a blogger' (that and I've always had a lot to say). I still have so much to say and I'm going to say it because my audience is my age group and at this point, all I want is honesty and advice and I feel like other people my age do to. So, on my journey of trying to get myself together I'm going to share with you what I find out and hopefully it'll help. My thoughts about life, growing up and my future have consumed a lot of my focus lately so I might as well talk about them rather than bottle it. 

So here's to Frills & Lyrics 2.0, give it a year and we'll probably be looking at 3.0! But that's okay because I'm going change. I'm going to try to welcome that change because change is good.

Jade xxx


Growing apart from your friends is inevitable. We're warned about it as we move to secondary school but when your relationship changes with someone who is such a huge part of your life it can sometimes be emotionally draining but it's normal and it's okay. It's also okay to want to go your own way and move on.

Personally I've developed quite thick skin when it comes to friendship because I've moved schools several times and moved across the world (three times!). It's partly my nature that means that I can cope with change but a huge part of  my past and how I grew up- what we experience in life makes us who we are and is such a fundamental part of our identity. As you grow up you experience new things, when you experience new things you change. Whether you've been friends for 10 years or a month with someone, in any amount of time people can change and that's not say you shouldn't try to mend friendships but after so many attempts it can erupt and leave you both hurt. If you try and Pritt stick a broken mirror back together it's only so long until it falls apart again and smashes even more...

In other friendships you can drift away from each other. Being overprotective and clingy is not a way to bring someone back to you- I understand the need to desperately hang on until the last thread's snapped because you adore the times you've shared together but rather, if they've grown apart from you, cherish the memories that you've had with that person rather than wish for more. Appreciate the person they've made you and what they've given you because even the bad times or the arguments have made you wiser. In the future when you meet your friend for life-a soul mate, it'll be because of all the other friendships you've had and what they've taught you.

I've found the best friendships I've had aren't forced and putting in effort doesn't feel like effort at all. I've finally come to terms with the fact that throughout my life,  my personality, style and interests are going to change so the people around me will and finding your feet can sometimes mean losing a friend. A true friend however will stay in your heart forever.

You should never feel guilty for making new friends and wanting space from people or wanting someone out of your life. You don't have to have a reason but it should never be to purposefully hurt someone's feelings. Personal development and just growing up isn't something you should feel guilty for. But each and every friend has contributed to who you are so don't be unkind to them. Also you shouldn't let other people tell you not to be friends with someone. I think that is a decision you have to make for yourself. I've been in friendships where we've just naturally drifted apart and there's been no tension because we understood that we were just going our separate ways even if we didn't have to say it to each other or even acknowledge it until 6 months later when we look back.

Everyone is different- as is every relationship so I'm not going to go into whether a friendship is healthy or not or tell you what to do because I don't know your friends! Friendship is such a massive topic and the intention of this blog post is to help a least one person accept and appreciate drifting apart from people.

Jade

Growing apart from friends


Growing apart from your friends is inevitable. We're warned about it as we move to secondary school but when your relationship changes with someone who is such a huge part of your life it can sometimes be emotionally draining but it's normal and it's okay. It's also okay to want to go your own way and move on.

Personally I've developed quite thick skin when it comes to friendship because I've moved schools several times and moved across the world (three times!). It's partly my nature that means that I can cope with change but a huge part of  my past and how I grew up- what we experience in life makes us who we are and is such a fundamental part of our identity. As you grow up you experience new things, when you experience new things you change. Whether you've been friends for 10 years or a month with someone, in any amount of time people can change and that's not say you shouldn't try to mend friendships but after so many attempts it can erupt and leave you both hurt. If you try and Pritt stick a broken mirror back together it's only so long until it falls apart again and smashes even more...

In other friendships you can drift away from each other. Being overprotective and clingy is not a way to bring someone back to you- I understand the need to desperately hang on until the last thread's snapped because you adore the times you've shared together but rather, if they've grown apart from you, cherish the memories that you've had with that person rather than wish for more. Appreciate the person they've made you and what they've given you because even the bad times or the arguments have made you wiser. In the future when you meet your friend for life-a soul mate, it'll be because of all the other friendships you've had and what they've taught you.

I've found the best friendships I've had aren't forced and putting in effort doesn't feel like effort at all. I've finally come to terms with the fact that throughout my life,  my personality, style and interests are going to change so the people around me will and finding your feet can sometimes mean losing a friend. A true friend however will stay in your heart forever.

You should never feel guilty for making new friends and wanting space from people or wanting someone out of your life. You don't have to have a reason but it should never be to purposefully hurt someone's feelings. Personal development and just growing up isn't something you should feel guilty for. But each and every friend has contributed to who you are so don't be unkind to them. Also you shouldn't let other people tell you not to be friends with someone. I think that is a decision you have to make for yourself. I've been in friendships where we've just naturally drifted apart and there's been no tension because we understood that we were just going our separate ways even if we didn't have to say it to each other or even acknowledge it until 6 months later when we look back.

Everyone is different- as is every relationship so I'm not going to go into whether a friendship is healthy or not or tell you what to do because I don't know your friends! Friendship is such a massive topic and the intention of this blog post is to help a least one person accept and appreciate drifting apart from people.

Jade

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